Reading is dangerous

I recently told a friend ‘reading is dangerous’. I thought I’d expound upon that a little. When I started reading (fifteen months ago), first finding the genre of Lesbian Romance, then lesbian etcetera, I couldn’t help but relate to the stories. At first I thought it was kind of scary, but the more I read and convinced myself that they were just characters, completely made up from someone’s mind I started reading more easily. Sure the scenarios could be real enough, but life is not a romance novel. Beautiful, buxom, lost divorcées do not suddenly appear next to creeks in the mountains for you to rescue and fall in love with; not everyday anyway. I’d been able to create a hazy, warm cocoon of pleasantness around me while reading these stories. They bring a kind of relaxation to me, a chance to get away from the trials of life (loosing hours at work, possibly taking guardianship of our neglected niece and nephew, and the damn bills).  Recently however I’ve discovered an author and a whole other genre of literature which I can only describe best as ‘wholly WTF’? The series I’m reading I shall not name, nor the author. But the general description of the stories is thus; two men meet during the war of Napoleon, they fall in love but when they return to London they require a wife. One of the men marries a fair young maiden and they all three live happily ever after making love to each other, often times at the same time. The books are graphic in their depiction of the sex had between the three lovers. So graphic in fact that they offer a warning of sorts in the front of the book that the contents contain male on male sex scenes, oooo very scary! However what has been scary about reading this series, I’m on book four of eight, has been my reaction to them. Not only am I addicted to them, I’m truly turned on by them. I’ve spent the last week and a half lost not in a ‘hazy warm cocoon of pleasantness’ but a sharp painful state of crude, musky arousal. I will not now or ever condone the burning of books, but I can kind of see why uneducated masses of people would be afraid of them so badly. Books seem to have the power to illicit in us our deepest fears, darkest desires and such. The power of which authors unknowingly wield over young unsuspecting persons. Or even people who are of supposed sound mind and personality. The power that words have is amazing. Edward Bulwer-Lytton was right when he said the ‘pen is mightier than the sword’. It’s a phrase we often joke with, rarely taking it seriously but it is so true on so many levels. Books have the power to mold our minds, not just entertain us, but change that which in us we thought already formed solidly. Perhaps I am just of soft mind enough to be altered by a book, perhaps I’m not ‘well read’ enough to expand my horizons to other genres yet? Whatever the feelings are exploding within me, as terrified as I am to research them closer, I keep returning to the books at the root of it. I think I should pick up some Nancy Drew or Encyclopedia Brown books after this though, maybe a ‘create your own adventure’ book or two. Actually I think returning to a lesbian author and lesbian characters who make lesbian love might bring me back to a comfortable place in life. My wife thinks me a conservative as such because I hate change, perhaps she’s right, and these books with all their liberal ideas are just poisoning my core beliefs system. Bah! Ha! Ha! Did I mention the series takes place in the time after the defeat of Napoleon, thus the Victorian era, old English cadence I seem to be slipping in and out of. Anyway, it’s true I’m not big on change, in me, in my life; the only change I readily approve of is in my undergarments. But having said that, a change of mind as terrifying as it is can be, can also be tantalizing welcome. It’s really quite ridiculous to be thirty-six years old and just now experiencing growing pains of an expanding mind. My head, I find is now so full of ideas, thoughts, stories that’s it’s almost painful. I want nothing more than to rid my mind of these words, but they fill me with such adrenaline; thus I think causing the addiction. So, if I am changing in mind, in life, in world view, I welcome it with open arms and synaptic vesicles!  

Samples

It’s been a while since my last entry. Crazy how time flies, and life changes in what on paper is only three little flips of a calendar. I’ve managed to read twenty-two books so far this year which is something like a book every three days. I’ve not taken out any loans or stolen any money to keep this habit functioning but as of late I have hit a bit of a road block. My hours at work have been cut, slashed, to a mere thirty-two per week. So, I have resorted to downloading free samples of books from B&N. If you’re not familiar with a free sample for the Nook, all it is, is usually the first thirty to forty pages of a book. When you subtract for the ‘acknowledgements’, ‘dedication’, etc,,, you’re left with usually twenty-five pages of the book; just enough to thoroughly suck you in and make you want to buy the whole thing. There’s even a little button at the top of the page that says ‘Buy Now’, just one little tap from your finger and the whole book could be yours! It’s just that easy, and just that much more difficult. My rational brain says ‘according to your budget, and projected income in the coming weeks you have three dollars to your name!’ But the addict in me says, ‘there’s twelve dollars in the coin jar at home, and there’s a Coinstar just around the corner at the CVS, maybe I could put it all on a CVS gift card then use that card to purchase a B&N gift card from the gift card tree in the store?’ Sigh – Why do I have to be a rational person? If I were truly an addict I would do whatever it takes to get my next fix, maybe even turn to prostitution! Alas, not an option. But a second (legitimate) job might be; I wonder if B&N is hiring? The point of this entry was to express my frustrations with book samples though. I can only equate it to being on the edge of an orgasm only to have someone knock on your door wholly interrupting what would have been the best ever orgasm of your life (alone or by yourself). And the book sellers know what they’re doing. They suck you in get you all comfortable with the main character, introduce a possible love interest, or antagonist, cut to the scene where a defining moment is about to take place, ““Very funny.” Adrian thought so. “So?” Sierra stared ahead, [End of Sample]”. COME ON, Chasing Love by Ronica Black! Forty-eight pages into it, but after the title page, synopsis, credits, ‘by the author’ and dedication, you’re really only thirty-three pages into the story. Thirty-three pages of “She was on the hunt” and “it pooled and pulsed behind her clit, causing that sweet, sharp ache in her loins.” Really!? You’re going to cut me off when the main character had hooked up with and was on her way to her house with a sure thing! You’re going to rob me of that scene! So not humanely right, but I’m sure it sells a lot of books. Just not to me, yet. And I’ve put myself through this torture with five other samples so far with two more in the wings. On the one hand I do appreciate the sample theory that at least I’m not buying a whole book that after the first ten pages is a total dud. But, I’m sampling books from a genre I love and adore! In the one hundred twenty-three books I’ve read so far there have only been six I’ve regretted (they didn’t offer any samples). The six that caused me to realize I was an addict, because otherwise why would I keep torturing myself with the series when I knew from the first book how horribly written it was. But I just had to know what next hurtle lay in the way for Catherine and Jace and the cast of characters surrounding them. I let myself look beyond the cut-off love scenes; I think the favorite words of the author’s were “and in the morning…” or “waking up in each others’ arms…” seriously? And, although it was filed under lesbian romance I kept reading when it became apparent that it was complete fantasy! Oh, and reading a sample did save me from buying a book written by an obviously limited author whose vocabulary could most closely be compared to the artful diction of Snookie. But, otherwise, sampling books from the lesbian romance genre for me is kind of like tying to only eat one Pringle, then shelving the can. Oh, I can do it, but you better believe I’m reaching for another Pringle from another can; did you know there are over a hundred and one flavors of Pringles worldwide? http://www.nowthatsnifty.com/2011/03/101-pringle-flavors-from-around-world.html Pringles be dammed, I will keep sampling, and I will keep groaning at the end of the sample in frustration but at least it’s giving me an idea of just how much money I’m going to need, maybe I can actually budget it in!? Way to go, Rational.